Focusing on the Wrong Things

Something, mmm...different happened to me today.

In short, I collapsed in the foyer of our church after barely escaping the sanctuary during a worship chorus. Thankfully a friend who noticed I didn't look well was on my heels and got me to a chair. I never even hit the floor, although I was in and out for a few minutes and shaking quite a bit.

It was, I hope, a singular event.
We'll call it a 'snapshot'. And like the one here, had numerous things which one can focus on.


It really was not a big deal. It was probably a combination of little things happening simultaneously and equaling more than I could muscle-through today: a bad night's sleep, a viral 'bloom', no food in 18 hours, a cup of strong coffee, on my feet through too many worship songs. (But hey, I could hardly sit down during 'I Stand in Awe of You', now could I?)

So like any not-fully-recovered pessimist I spent a better part of the day (after a nap and a nutritional boost) focusing on all the wrong things:

Boy that was embarrassing.

I wonder what people are thinking?

Am I really that pathetic?

I scared some friends and my guys for no reason.

Why did that have to happen?

I should have just stayed home.

Will my doctor and friend ever get to just enjoy

a Sunday at church without having to practice his practice?

(And I thought maybe I was getting better...)

...etc...

...etc...

...etc...

Then there was a familiar nudge. A 'still, small, voice' said, "You're looking at this picture all wrong. There is beauty here and you're missing it."

He opened my eyes and then I saw. And He was right, as always.

How wonderful that this happened at church surrounded by people who care for me and not, say, Walmart(!).

How good that everyone was busy singing and I got out of the sanctuary before making a scene.

As I went down in the otherwise empty foyer, I was caught by friends I didn't even see!

The one on my right was following me because she loves me, and the one on my left was appointed to come around the corner at that very second. And not only are they friends, they are both women dealing with chronic health issues who understand that upright and present does not always equal well, and collapsing does not require panic.  And they prayed for me.

My guys were there almost immediately. My husband and sons prayed for me.

My doctor was maybe 15 steps away. My doctor prayed for me. (And bless his heart, he let me go home.)

The Lord will never, in my lifetime, stop desiring me to be humble like my savior, Jesus. He will also never, ever, work in the life of His child in a careless or haphazard way. 

This is the manner that He has decided to use in my life right now. It's a good work, worth doing, and He knows His reasons and plans. He's proceeding with care and intention.

And I need to focus on that, see the beauty of it, and leave the rest to Him.

Psalm 31:7,8
I will rejoice and be glad in Your lovingkindness,
         Because You have seen my affliction;
         You have known the troubles of my soul,
And You have not given me over into the hand of the enemy;
         You have set my feet in a large place.