Not-So-Fine Feature Meets The Lust of the Eyes

I think if a woman is honest, she has to admit that she has at least one feature she is content with and one she would rather trade in.
For example: I'll keep my hair. It's pretty thick, relatively low maintenance, not graying too fast, but definitely throwing in a couple of white ones to mark my increasing maturity. In general it isn't a bother and doesn't draw attention to itself: a keeper feature.
Then there are my feet. Um, how do I say this delicately? They're flappin' humongous. You can say what you want, but a 10.5-11 medium shoe on a woman who is 5'6" is hugely out of proportion. HOWEVER, it almost never bothers me now that I no longer live with my father who was always asking if I wasn't cold with so much of me laying on the ground all the time. After all, a solid foundation is a good thing and I've had years to grow accustomed to them. I can't really even complain anymore about the difficulty in finding shoes like when I was young because there are now enough sasquatchian types like myself to motivate shoe manufacturers to provide for us.
But today my husband mentioned a particular Danish clog sale and I saw THIS at 60% off (with no tax and free shipping!) I want them. No, I need them. (Yeah, okay, not really, but I needed some dramatic phrasing.) But we can never be together because this amazing clog with all of its glorious red and pink patterns would LOOK ABSOLUTELY STUPID ON MY GARGANTUAN FEET.
I will get through this. I will overcome. I may even, somehow, triumph and grow as a person because of this disappointment. In the meantime, I will pull myself together and count my blessings: exactly $58.00 and the avoidance of another chance to look foolish.