My Fault. God's Faithfulness.

I suppose because of my own faithlessness to God, I am often surprised by His ongoing faithfulness to me. Yes, I am aware of how very egocentric that is, and if I thought myself to be alone in that kind of thinking I might worry more, but the scriptures and life itself are full of reminders that I am in like-minded company everywhere I go. It is a condition of my fallen humanity. When I take the time to think on it I know full well to expect His ongoing presence, guidance and support; it's just that I just don't take the time to think on it enough.
Last night was fairly miserable in the sleep department, much because of the injury I sustained to my back recently. And I am more than a little annoyed by this ominous pain in my spine. Someone might wonder how I did it. Moving too many huge rocks? No. That last load of gravel. Uh-uh. Tossing 40lb bags of goat and chicken feed? Child's play.
No, I tried to jump a ditch from the uphill side to the downhill side--the same ditch that I have jumped that way many times, but this time the weeds obscured the edge, I ignored the still small voice that said "Wait." and I then missed, falling an extra two feet into the ditch. And while trying to keep my balance I threw out my arms and arched my back which was the position I was in when I landed hard, and bolt upright, in the bottom of said ditch like a steel rod being slammed into the ground by a pile-driver, with the exception of the sound, which went crunch instead of clang.
Annoyed, yes. And irritated. And mildly anxious. Grumpy, too, and less than happy with my own stupidity and its result.
Enter the sovereign hand and encouraging character of God, via the writings of Elisabeth Elliot Gren, and today's devotional in my email inbox.
The Lord is good and knows precisely what is needed and when. My back may be injured because of my own foolishness, but I still have the Lord's love and ready help. Since I did not stop this morning to read God's wisdom and writings He reminded me of it by the wisdom and writings of my older sister in the faith.
And I was surprised by the obvious application to my current problem, but then again, not really.

Elisabeth Elliot, from A Lamp For My Feet

My Own Fault

Someone who is suffering as a result of his own foolishness or failure may read these words. These griefs are hard indeed to bear, for we feel we might easily have avoided them. We have no one to blame but ourselves, and there isn't much consolation there. Sometimes we imagine that we must bear this kind of trouble alone, but that is a mistake. The Lamb of God, slain for us, has borne all of our griefs and carried all of our sorrows, no matter what their origin. All grief and sorrow is the result of sin somewhere along the line, but Christ received them willingly. It is nothing but pride that keeps me from asking Him to help me to bear the troubles which are my own fault.