Memorial Day

My Peonies

I can take very little credit for the beautiful, photogenic row of peonies that line my drive.

They are a hardy and reliable bunch that ask very little of me.

I weed and mulch them.

Sometimes I fertilize them.

And they come back to me every year.

This year they offered fewer blooms, but held up against worse weather than our previous 5 Springs.

They humbly suggested that I feed, weed and mulch them this year.

Then they struck a pose and smiled warmly.

Pinky Pals

Made in China?

A Honeysuckle Worth Having

Honeysuckle 'Pink Lemonade'

Lonicera x heckrottii

Missionaries, Tornadoes and the Book of Job

Each year we host the class of missionaries-in-training, both singles and families, from The Master's Mission (http://www.mastersmission.org) located near Robbinsville, NC for an overnight before they travel to the nearby Creation Museum. (This year our daughter is among them so it was a special treat to have her here.)

The clouds have not been as beautiful the last few days.

The 24 of us were eating dinner last night as the skies grew darker and progressively more ominous. We can only see about 1/2 mile to our West, so storms can come in without much warning if we aren't aware. Somehow we missed the tornado warning, but knew there was a storm coming, and that it was the same line that had caused the tornado in Joplin MO the day before. G was the first to hear the siren go off in the community to our NW. We often don't hear it from our distance, but were thankful for the extra minutes it gave us to move everyone inside and the children away from the windows.
Two years ago we had a tornado pass very near us a few hours before TMMers arrived and we stood at the top of the cellar stairs for 5 minutes while we were engulfed in the equivalent of a giant car wash in a wind tunnel. Not fun. Earlier this spring I accidentally drove with my children into the edges of a cell as I entered town--far scarier than being in a house during one. Last night's brush was the mildest, but exciting enough for me.

The largest hail I could pick up w/o getting pelted.

I am a native Oregonian. I grew up in the temperate Willamette Valley where the things we called "storms" should probably be redefined and assigned a new name, because they are so trivial in comparison to these that drive across and tear up the Midwest. Since growing up and living in a few parts of the country, I have experienced a bit more 'serious weather' since my childhood. I have been through four hurricanes (5 if you count the one that traveled North through Indiana a few years ago and removed many of our roof shingles), 2 very mild earthquakes (is that weather?) and 3 episodes of 'tornadic activity', as well as flooding and snowstorms.

The truth is this: tornadoes scare me. 

Which does not mean much; it's just the way it is. I continue to work through it, and for now I manage by getting as ready for the 'worst' as I can; I make sure my people are ready and where they should be, collect the keys, IDs, shoes, flashlights, etc. and also by remembering the words of Stonewall Jackson: "I am as safe on the battlefield as I am in my bed." (Which could be shortened to "God is in complete control" or "Trust in the Lord" but I guess I find Stonewall's version comforting because it includes the word 'safe'. :)
It is a true and secure sentiment to hunker down with while riding out a storm, but I am no Pollyanna. I am aware that throughout the course of history and across the globe He has been in control since the creation and simultaneous destruction of every perfect thing and He frequently allows Hell apparent victories which, although they will be dwarfed and silenced in the end, in the meantime continue to pound furiously and viciously on this magnificent planet and on it's people who bear some of the image of their Creator; the One the devil hates.

I am convinced that tornadoes are from Hell.

(Not my photo. iWitness User: Chelle Crocker. 

A car wrapped around a tree in Joplin, MO.)

We do not have tv, in the sense that we do not have cable or satellite for receiving programming. And I think this may be the first time I have found myself wishing we did, as so many communities have been hit hard by so many destructions and I am not in the loop. Tonight was the first time I had opportunity to check online about Joplin MO, and just like Tuscaloosa AL the footage is shocking. It's unfathomable, really. I also checked some videos on YouTube. There was one I will never forget.
The first is almost entirely pitch black throughout the 5 minute recording and was filmed by phone as the tornado hit a gas station and the people taking refuge there piled into the walk-in cooler as the storm destroyed everything around it. It is the stuff of nightmares. When it is finally over, they are all alive. In the second the young man filming (whose mother called his cell and demanded he get off the road and take cover, thereby saving his life) returns to the 'gas station'. Only the hand of God spared these people.  But be warned if you decide to 'view' it that the terror recorded on the first video is like nothing I have ever heard, and like nothing I ever want to hear again. But the most amazing thing to me, over the screaming and the crying, is the voice of one woman crying out to Jesus throughout the ordeal.  It reminded me of the saying:

There are No Atheists in Foxholes (and probably not in tornadoes either).

I've never been in a foxhole, so I can't say from personal experience, but these people believed they were going to die yesterday, and at that very moment over one hundred twenty-four (and counting) of their friends and neighbors actually did. I am so curious about this woman. Does she walk with the Lord? Did she grow up in a church culture or a Christian home? Or was she an atheist? How is she? How is her family?

There is no question that we are all approaching death. And when it is my turn--however it may come--I hope that like this woman I meet it in submission and love and thankfulness to my Lord. (Yes. She thanks God at one point, clearly not for the tornado, but out of a submitted heart I believe, knowing that He is mindful of her.) 

In the Book of Job, chapter one, much like many residents of Joblin MO yesterday, this righteous man was stripped of everything he had and everyone he loved by the devil himself; with God's consent. And his words were recorded as an example for everyone who would seek to honor the Lord if and when they face a time of devastation:

 He said,"Naked I came from my mother's womb,

         And naked I shall return there 

         The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away.

         Blessed be the name of the LORD."

 Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God.

Job18-22

Will Jesus Return Tomorrow? Should We Be Concerned?

No and Yes.

The clouds were amazing today. It was lovely to see the blue again.

On a different day I think I would have laid on the lawn just to watch them.

It made me realize how long our weather has been overcast and gray.

I hear more of that is coming. Bah Humbug.

So a guy named Harold Camping says Jesus is coming back tomorrow and it will be Judgement Day. I find what little I know and have read to be profoundly irritating. Honestly, so what? The man clearly does not believe the Word of God to be true, so why bother to listen? 

1. The Bible teaches that no one will know the day or the hour Christ returns.

(Which leads me to believe that tomorrow is a 'No-Go'.) [Matthew 24:36]

2. It also says that as the time of His return approaches, that the world will be participating in a genocide against Christians that if not stopped by the Lord would have left not one alive on earth. (There are places in the world where believers in Jesus pay for that choice with their lives, but it's not happening on this kind of global scale yet.) [Revelation 6:11]

3. This Camping guy also says those belonging to a church are not saved. So now we are dealing with two really serious problems, the first being God abandoning His promises to His Bride the Church whom He purchased with His blood, and the other that salvation is, according to Camping, now by works (leaving churches) instead of by faith. Major-- did I mention MAJOR?-- problem area.

[Ephesians 2:8,9; Galatians 3:17]

Should we be concerned?

Profoundly.

In the end (which tomorrow is not), it boils down to the ramblings of yet another false teacher, this one with a little more firepower. [Acts 20:28-30]

I am tempted to ignore the whole thing, but the Lord calls me instead to be discerning and sober because we have an enemy that seeks to 'devour' us, and clearly he has used this guy to devour a lot of people, but he can just as easily use our sarcasm and pride to catch us and chew us up. Let's be wise and cautious, and pray instead for those who have been deceived, and for ourselves that we will use the opportunity to dialog about what IS true.

Acts 20:28

"Be on guard for yourselves and for all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood."

An exhortation from Phillipians 2:5-16

Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus EVERY KNEE WILL BOW, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.

 Do all things without grumbling or disputing; so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world, holding fast the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I will have reason to glory because I did not run in vain nor toil in vain.

Windows on the Blogosphere

The internet is sort of a window on the world. Actually it is more like MANY windows on the world. And today when I looked through those windows I discovered a new land. It is called The Blogosphere. 

(Like the nightmares of missing High School Geography class until the day of the final, or the reality of not learning a lick of history at CHS, I had somehow missed this in my years of computer usage. True story.)

The Blogosphere. It is enormous and seems to be populated almost solely by near-perfect, vigilant, well-studied and verbacious* middle-aged women.

In short, it is a terrifying place and I am pretty sure I don't want any part of it.

(* 'Verbacious' is a blogosphere word that has not yet been recognized by the gods Merriam, Webster or Oxford. You can look it up online and I'm using it. So is blogorrhea, which is self-explanatory; I'm not using that one.)

Many of these women are apparently the mothers of gifted children, the best wife of the best husband, and they are thoughtful about every thing they do. They live in tidy, well-organized homes kept that way by a schedule which keeps life in order. Their lives are model. They have giveaways and contests and subscribers and they exhort and encourage and link and monetize. And they blog about it all.

A missionary friend from Alaska (and already you rightly understand that she is fearless) warned me about this frightful place over 3 years ago. In my foolishness, beginning with only one well-intentioned click, I quickly found myself today at the mercy of dozens of compelling links to aid me in my many imperfections, multiplying and spreading out in a sort of hyper-pro-creative fashion until the tabs along the top of my screen were merely nubs. It was a buffet of right and needful information, each new window neatly trimmed with little buttons that link to still more windows of the same only different content. And before long I was struggling for breath as well as clarity of thought.

And somewhere in the process of peering through window after window after window of these...things, my  little blog and I were re-defined and made quite small, reduced to virtual nothingness, actually. And I thought about quitting, because it was a serious and uninvited case of deja vu that struck me. 

I do not fit. 

Again. 

(Or is that still?)

I'm 45 years old and I still feel self-conscious, awkward, and maybe even alien, in the presence of the people who 'have it all together'.

And most of the time that's okay with me--like yesterday when I rattled off in all seriousness: "...I want: God's special, specific, unique will for me and for my life. I don't want equality. I don't want my life, my self, my responsibilities, callings, gifts, lessons, family situation, trials, thoughts, emotions, and circumstances to be the same as everyone else's."

And then I'm tested and I'm not so sure for awhile, until...

I remember that this glimpse through this window was orchestrated by the One who made me the misfit I am. The same One who tests me from time to time to see if I really believe what I say I believe, will walk what I talk, and The One who reads not only the musings on my blog, but the un-shared thoughts in my head and the motivations of my heart, and asks that I work at aligning them to His own.

The gospel of John says that this same One came into the world, but the world didn't know Him. 

He didn't fit in this world. He was a mis-fit.

He wasn't what the crowds wanted or what the religious people expected, then or now. He definitely was not part of the 'in crowd', and neither were those who followed Him. Few are those that find the full and eternal life readily available through Christ, and I am one of the few!

I don't need to 'fit' in this world.

So, if all I do is take some time each day to see the interesting things that surround me in the life I've been given, and articulate once in awhile on the elusive, and hopefully not too boring, thoughts that bounce around in my brain, then that's okay with me.

Oriole Nests, Complaints, Equality and Psalm 32:8

The Oriole, with its bright, and beautiful, orange and black markings, makes a unique and rather grating bird call. It's really more of a complaint than a song; something between gargling with rocks, whistling and growling. Loudly. I don't believe anyone could call it pleasant, but you definitely know when you've been graced by this bird's presence. In fact, a person could probably argue that they are best enjoyed from a quiet distance, even though lovely to look at. (This picture is of a female and is not mine, as you can see.)

Sadly, I know somebody like that. And recently her growling remarks traveled full circle back to me. It did indeed sound rather like gargling with rocks. Grating doesn't really cover it. In general I tend to think of her as a likable person, but she is becoming known for her frequent 'song' of complaint. This time, grumbled to another, but in my direction, a perceived 'preferential treatment', an unfair benefit I had received; a form of inequality, all stuck in her otherwise pleasant enough craw.

Does the Oriole, when building her house, complain that the other birds get the ease of construction in the crotch of the tree, between branches with simple sticks, when she is required to weave a hanging home? Does she accuse her Maker of giving her the left-over colors after Cardinal, Indigo Bunting and even her beloved mate got the prettiest shades? Why does she complain? Doesn't she have all she needs? Wouldn't she rather sing? Or possibly in the manner that He never wastes a thing, the Lord just knows that she needs humbling and the rest of us need more patience.

In Psalm 32:8 the Lord says: "I will instruct you and teach you. I will counsel you with My eye upon you." That's what I want: God's special, specific, unique will for me and for my life. I don't want equality. I don't want my life, my self, my responsibilities, callings, gifts, lessons, family situation, trials, thoughts, emotions, and circumstances to be the same as everyone else's. Does anyone, really? Sure there are situations where flexibility is not an option, but generally I think people claim they want 'equality' most often when they suspect a benefit that they are not receiving and someone else is. I have never heard a person argue for equality when the result would be them giving more and receiving less. In this particular arena I have carried more than my share in previous seasons, but in this season carrying my 'normal' load was not an option. I am thankful for those who understood and accommodated me as I would want to accommodate another facing an unexpected handicap. I expect in the next season I will be able to return to my previous level of participation, but I know of others who for various reasons will not. And yet, what a shame if because 'everyone must be equal' they could not participate in the blessing. Rather than complain, I will be glad that as the needs arise that they can be accommodated, and I hope that I will be more able to carry some of their load when they are less able.

After very little exposure to them, I am convinced that the Creator was wise to suspend the Oriole family, dangling out at the end of a branch, far above the ground, virtually inaccessible, because they are so vocal in their complaints that every predator within a half mile knows exactly where they are. Whatever His reasons for joining such cacophony with such beauty, I am glad that He demonstrates His infinite creativity in the bird kinds. I am equally glad that He calls human kind to a higher level of behavior--grace, humility, and service.

An Oriole nest lay in the front yard today. Thankfully it was empty and incomplete.

The materials chosen would make the local home improvement center proud: primarily individual strips of housewrap, carefully woven with grass, old leaves, and the furry bits of maple seed hulls. But a few poorly tied knots, or slick strings of impervious, woven membrane, allowed the Oriole nest to fall to the lawn, unfinished.

We brought it up near the house to throw away, but when I looked out the window the Oriole had pulled it into the bushes and was trying to tease out the useful pieces. Concerned that this made her easy prey for the cats, I tied her previous effort to the table and put out some oranges to help her find it. Soon she was picking it apart and starting again.

I appreciated her industry and diligence. She didn't give up and fly away. She got right back to work. She didn't start from scratch, but salvaged what she could and pressed on.

I think her knots will be better this time and I only wish I had some long horse tail hair to help her reduce her carbon bird-footprint.

Psalm 23

The LORD is my shepherd,

I shall not want. 

He makes me lie down in green pastures;

He leads me beside quiet waters. 

He restores my soul;

He guides me in the paths of righteousness

For His name's sake. 

Even though I walk through the valley

of the shadow of death,

I fear no evil, for You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. 

You prepare a table before me

in the presence of my enemies;

You have anointed my head with oil;

My cup overflows. 

Surely goodness and lovingkindness will

follow me all the days of my life,

And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Not That Shy

This is S, my son. He is the middle child.

He is a helpful and talented young man, plays the piano, draws, and studies architecture because he loves it.

I can safely say that of my three, he is the most shy.

He is not nearly as shy as this picture might lead you to believe, however.

:)

Me on Mother's Day

My youngest took my picture today. 

(I hate having my picture taken.)

I've gotten old and quite 'fluffy'

in the last year.

(Did I mention that I hate having my picture taken? And I really hate having it posted or viewed....

which I'm pretty sure is a form of vanity.)

So here is old, fluffy, vain me. :) 

I know: Here is a picture of my $1 jacket. I got it at a rummage sale last year.  I love it. It's timeless because it's so funky. 

(Ignore the woman behind the jacket....ahhh, SO much better.)

Two Special Women

There is a very special woman that lives 2,350 miles away.

She is my Mom. And I wish we could somehow divide that distance by at least 100.

About 68 miles further is another wonderful woman, my Mother In-Law.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

Happy Mother's Day, Margie!


We LOVE you and MISS you every moment of every day.

(Your cards are in the mail, but won't get there by tomorrow, that is certain. Just as our wish that we could see you more is certain, too.)


I'm sure your irises have been blooming for quite awhile now in Oregon, but here is a glimpse of the Blue Flag that is just opening up in our yard.

Hugs and kisses from all.

Sometimes Life Is Messy--Putting Down a Beloved Dog

This day did not end the way we had planned. We have been at a crossroads of these two verses for quite some time. Now we will be moving on.

Proverbs 12:10 A righteous man has regard for the life of his animal...

Matthew 7:11-12 "If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him! In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets."

  To say this day did not end the way we had planned is only partially true. We've been planning something for a long time. I guess I should say that I didn't expect that today we finally would take action on something we have put off for so long. (This is only a glimpse with few details, and not enough information to accurately judge the outcome. It is meant to just be a glimpse.)

  As we have raised our children, we have tried to always discuss the truth with them.

 Sometimes the truth is that the facts show a simple consequence to an action. 

  But life is messy and sometimes even when we lay out the facts, we can't find a 'simple' anything in it. 

  I should mention that the first place we look for direction is in the Word of God. In this situation the verses that best demonstrate why we landed where we did are the two quoted here. After that, we do the best we can, pray hard and follow through on what we think we should do; just as soon as we can tell what that is.

  Tonight we put down Gracie, our black lab mix. We have known for years that it needed doing and if we were good and responsible farmers this would have been done after she killed the first, or maybe the second, or third chicken. But we delayed because we aren't yet good farmers, and also because we want to be good and responsible parents, as well as good and responsible pet owners. And we love our dogs. It has taken time and many clear and difficult situations for the facts to overcome our reluctance and the feelings of our children in this matter.

  During the last year the dog has grown increasingly untrustworthy. She has started numerous fights with Lil, the Yellow Lab and her best pal, and Bella the new Pyrenees. Frequently these were at my feet when she just didn't want to share me, or sometimes over food, or sometimes for no apparent reason at all. People said she looked like a pitbull mix. We didn't give it much thought until she became vicious and unyielding during the fighting. When we finally pulled up a picture of a black pit bull online we were all stunned at the resemblance, but even without that possibility we were realizing that to act responsibly with this dog was critical and simultaneously she was painting us into a smaller and smaller corner of possible outcomes.

  In the beginning, a few stinky chickens were not as valuable to the kids as the dog. We knew we couldn't give her to a family with young children, but then other animals became an issue, too. And there were other problems, also. Though her faults began to pile up it didn't seem right to put a dog down if perhaps we could find it a new home. It took months of discussing the what if's and the realities of her issues and temperament before we all could accept a no-win scenario; even so no one was rushing to act. This week she's been charging the fence, scaring the new goats and confusing the Pyr if she should guard the goats or chase them. We worried what would happen if she ever got through the fence.

  So for a long time we've talked about the need to get this over with while trying desperately to come up with some as-of-yet-unimagined situation that would make it unnecessary. Sunday night I determined to try one last time to find her a home by putting the word out in all my circles and online as soon as I came in from getting the goats settled. As I finished up in the barn I was hit with the stench of skunk closer than I had ever experienced it--I can only describe it as instantaneous toxic head pain. It was Gracie. She was drenched in skunk. My heart sank.

 At feeding time tonight when the dogs and all but one of us were on or near the porch, Gracie went after Lil at G's feet. It was terrifying and vicious. He couldn't stop her and now Lil is injured. Time will tell if her leg heals up as we hope and expect it will, but for the time being she can't walk on it. I cleaned the leg and she spent the evening resting inside the house, which was proper even for an outside dog. The boys and I stayed at home making dinner and keeping ourselves busy. Gracie was put down and will forever rest on our hillside overlooking the valley, which is proper, too, because that's where we have put all our beloved pets when their time came.

  Tonight we moved past the crossroads. It has been sad and hard, but it is our responsibility to have regard for the life of all of our animals, to be good to our children not only in giving them good gifts, but more importantly in teaching them what is true and right. And in this case it meant doing something very hard to protect someone else's animal or possibly children and not leaving it to someone else when it is our responsibility.


Proverbs 12:10 A righteous man has regard for the life of his animal...
Matthew 7:11-12 "If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him! In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets."

Happiness in the Little Things -- The Hummingbirds Return

I forgot that I heard one

of these buzz overhead last week.

Thankfully I saw this one waiting 

this morning out back.

The feeders are both full now

and await discovery.

A blessing that Spring really is here,

though the evidence is sparser than usual.

Wild Columbine and I'm Caught Up!

Here's hoping this will be my last flood picture of 2011. 

I am getting ancy to write more, but wanted to catch up on my pictures first. Tada! I am also getting ancy to get away from the computer almost completely for a bit to focus on other things. The two are mutually exclusive, however. Hrumph.

Some topics simmering on the back burner:

--David Wilkerson went to be with the Lord last week and was laid to rest on Monday. The point of this man's life and message reached me before I reached the point of embracing it's truth.

--Osama Bin Laden declared dead by Obama. Is there a correct response or range of responses?

--A Tale of Two Reputations. I was witness to the varying expressions of a neighbor I recently met as the names of two different mutual acquaintances came up in conversation. It made me hope deeply that when people mention my name it brings a smile and not a grimace.  I have had a few occasions recently to observe and consider what kind of impact people I know are making on those around them. It has been both sweet and sad.

My First Goats!

I've been researching the kinds of goats I want: Kikos for meat, resilience and ease of keeping, Alpines for milk.

On Saturday I finally heard back from a woman who had posted these two on Craigslist and was tired of no-show buyers. I now have:
--An Alpine nanny
--Her Kiko/Alpine doeling.

For $150 they became mine, and no that does not include the gas for the just under 3 hour each way trip. But it made for a nice day with my man, and the gals are delightful. They did not make one sound the entire trip home in the back of the van! (Which now smells like, um, not nice.)

They promptly owned their room in the lower corner of the barn and put Bella (the Pyrenees) on warning. She is recovering from the shock but understands fully now that Mommas are always The Boss.

We were told the doeling was stand-offish, but have found that on the contrary she loves to be petted and scratched and fed goodies like carrots and tree branches. I really think this is going to work out!

Happy Hostas

Low-Carb Cabbage Lasagna

Fed us for almost a week--Thanks Rose for the idea!

If My Grass Isn't Growing Now....

...oh, but it is.

According to the NOAA the previous record rainfall in the Cincinnati area was 9.77" set in 1998.

This month the rainfall record was reset to 13.52".

However, before we all go crazy celebrating, this falls a full .04" short of the record monthly rainfall from January of 1937 of  13.68".

We're number two and we try harder.